As
I was growing up, my mother used to tell me to lower my gaze in front of the
elders. When they speak, I was to be quiet and pay close attention to what they
are saying. Looking back at them during an argument meant disrespect, and disrespecting
an elder was highly frowned up. To this day, I have followed that rule
wholeheartedly to the point where it became a strong habit. And human beings
are bound to adapting. Similarly, the males in my culture were taught to keep
their heads held high and always keep their gazes straight. But what happens
when that gaze is geared towards a female who has been taught all her life to
keep her eyes to the ground? Moreover, what if the gaze itself projects a
sinister surrounding in which the woman is slowly being consumed?
Women
have always been the second choice, the second option for any situation. They are
known for being the nurturer never the protector. Because to us, a protector
means someone who possesses an immense amount of power which is why we accept
the idea of there being a God or an external force who is responsible for
creating us. And not surprisingly, we address that Supreme Being as ‘he’
majority of the time. Even as generic as writing an essay and addressing
someone of who’s gender we are not sure of, we tend to assume that person to be
a male. Why do we do it? We do so because women have been brought up thinking
that they are born to be presented below men. They are born in a “confined
space” and “into the keeping of men” because men are known for providing the
sense of a protector (Berger, 46). But is it necessary for us to remain within
that confined space? I presume so. Because we constantly seek approval from the
men surrounding us because being appreciated by the ‘protector’ is what we
strive for.
But
is it ideal? To strive for approval instead of appreciating who we are as an
individual? Morally, the answer is no, we do not need to have constant
appreciation. But socially, yes, we do need to be noticed and esteemed worthy because
our values and morals have been corrupted by us. Even though we blame the
society for constantly giving us a vision of what perfect should be, we forget
the fact that we are part of the society. We built it, we lead it, and now we
are being run by it. We enjoy being “looked at” and appreciate the gaze towards
us (Berger, 47). In today’s media, the ways to please men are innumerable. From
dressing and acting down to speaking and looking: everything is done so men’s
eyes can be pleased. Society teaches us how to become independent and at the
same time, pushes us to our limits and makes us be subordinate to men; the
irony.
A woman being subordinate to men is
not a recent issue; it has been built up over centuries. From the beginning of
time, women ‘naturally’ learned to stay at home and look after the families
while the men went out to provide for the said family. But without any
influence of an outside media, how did they know which role to assign each
gender? It is a tough question to answer since we lack sufficient amount of
evidence from those time periods. But moving onto the time periods of which we
do have records of, we see the same, never-changing role played by women. Women
are viewed as something to be appreciated but never be valued whereas, men are
known for being authoritative and often the “ideal spectator” (Berger, 64).
Now
comes the point where women are so accustomed to the male stare that they
attempt to manipulate it. By the means of fashion, style, make-up, and even
down to how they hold themselves and walk down the street. We are aware of “critical
gaze” and we do our best to avoid that “oppositional gaze” which is posed by
the authoritarian (Hooks, 116). We change ourselves completely in the presence
of a male that we will not be able to recognize ourselves if we were a mere
spectator. We clothe ourselves in a manner of a seductress; we act as a sexual
being. Why do we do that? No one says it better than Berger: “we are
overwhelmed by the marvelous simplicity of the familiar sexual mechanism”
(Berger, 59). And that overwhelmed feeling manipulates our own thought process
and makes us appear different than our natural self. We become so numb to the
stares that we, subconsciously, become the object men admire. But is that all
for us? Is that the peak of our success? To be appreciated by men? If so, then
we have not progressed one bit from where we started out.
http://www.slrlounge.com/how-i-shot-it-a-deep-gaze-by-lauri-laukkanen
http://www.slrlounge.com/how-i-shot-it-a-deep-gaze-by-lauri-laukkanen
I got to say what initially drew me into reading this post was the title, look the other day and then I read the first paragraph and I just had to finish reading it. I enjoyed how you kept on asking the reader questions and they were all valid and great questions to ask. It really made me think and I liked how your talked about women and connected back to berger to make your point come across.
ReplyDeleteThe details that you put in of your own background really enhanced the essay for me, they made it much more interesting, especially since I come from a similar background in terms of the "gaze" :D If you were to provide a link to another article, or blog or such that could relate to this concept of the gazes, it would make your essay perfect since it's required by the teacher as well ^_^ Other than that, your work's very well-written!
ReplyDeleteGrowing up, I was also raised to believe that making direct eye contact with ones elders was considered very disrespectful.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to your point of being socialized to act and think in a particular way, and how that ideology gets played out in everything we do including the choices we make, our struggles and our fears.. I wonder if we lived in a different society would the gaze really make a difference. As African American's in this country most of our ancestors were traumatized by the inhumane treatment of slavery and as a result of that trauma, may have passed the behavior on to us.
ReplyDeleteI really like how you said "Similarly, the males in my culture were taught to keep their heads held high and always keep their gazes straight. But what happens when that gaze is geared towards a female who has been taught all her life to keep her eyes to the ground?" Its almost as if females were taught to keep their gaze down just so that males would be able to look and females wouldn't be able to retaliate. Very intriguing.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I really like the title of your post because it's different than the other posts. I like how you mentioned in your introduction about your personal experience because it really gives us an idea of what the gaze is. I like how you mentioned that women are nurturers and never the protector.
ReplyDeleteI like your analysis of the "natural roles" of men and women and the juxtaposition you drew from history. Also your analysis of the woman's subject position in general society is good.
ReplyDelete